so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
