Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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