Don't you send me to vm
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
