I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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