Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
