my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Green mimosas i think yes
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize