How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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