flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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