Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
