Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
