Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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