Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
