no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
