I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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