We named our party play list daddy issues
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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