Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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