Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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