How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
