I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
