You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
