OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
