Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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