Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
