Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
