i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
