Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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