I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize