I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
