Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
