I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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