you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
