Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize