i just identified you from a description of your pipe
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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