See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
