When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
