Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
