happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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