I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
