It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was born a porn star she said
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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