Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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