That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
