Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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