i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
