I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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