Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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