i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will be naked everywhere
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
