I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why are your pants in the freezer?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
