i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
