so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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