help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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