I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
