i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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