I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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