i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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