She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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