i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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