That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
