His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I love having hate sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
