shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize