you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
