She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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