I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
