There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
