But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
